All Hail King Izzo

Michigan State’s basketball coach is nothing less than phenomenal. Since becoming the Spartan’s head coach in 1995, Tom Izzo has proven himself over and over. During the regular season his team may not be ranked–much like the ’14/’15 season. Once the Big Dance arrives, however, Izzo’s wizarding powers are truly apparent.

This year’s Spartan team has a lot of strong players, but there isn’t anyone who is truly “NBA-worthy”. That being said, his team is a tight-knit unit. They’ve played together for years and treat each other like family–something that Izzo strives for. He takes boys and makes them men in every aspect of their lives. Michigan State had some unfortunate losses to teams such as Illinois and other NIT caliber programs, which made a lot of people question their prowess on the court. The Big 10 Tournament is where we saw the 180 in the way the team connected. Wisconsin may have won the Championship, but they weren’t able to breeze to the W. State’s legendary defense was a challenge to Bo Ryan’s team and the fire was lit in the Spartan’s shorts.

They were given a 7 seed this year, which many claimed was an under-seeding on the part of the selection committee. After rolling through Georgia, Virginia and Oklahoma, they were met with a match in the Elite 8. True to their past, State took down Louisville for a spot in the Final 4. As a Spartan fan, it’s been incredible to watch everyone on Tom Izzo’s dick. They crap on them during the regular season, but as soon as March Madness rolls around, Izzo is nothing short of a demi-god.

This year’s Final 4 is filled with coaching royalty: Bo Ryan, Coach K, John Calipari and of course, Tom Izzo. Izzo, however, outranks the others in that he’s reached the Final 4 three separate times when ranked as a 5 seed or lower. He has lead his mostly underrated teams to 7 Final 4s, 2 National Championships and 18 straight NCAA tournaments. His ability to lead and teach his players had awarded him with 4 separate National Coach of the Year Awards, as well as being named the Top Basketball Program of the Decade (’98-’07). I may be biased, but his incredible attitude, coaching style and love for his players has granted him the title “King Izzo”. Sparty on!


MSU Rolls!

The Michigan State Spartans are on a roll! Yesterday’s Elite 8 match up against Louisville was nothing short of phenomenal, in terms of sheer determination. Michigan State started the game with a slurry of quick turnovers. Louisville continued playing in their erratic, yet somehow coherent manner of play. With the loss of their star, Chris Jones, a number of players have had to step into his shoes. It was quite apparent that they were not on the top of their game.

Travis Trice, Michigan State’s Senior guard was absolutely unstoppable. His 17 points, along with Dawson’s 11 rebounds, propelled the rest of the team into the zone. Louisville lead at the half 40-32; they were on a 94 game win-streak when up by 6+ at the half. Izzo didn’t allow his team to be bothered by this fact. The Spartans tore out of halftime with a 10-2 run. With 3:57 left in the half Trice hit two key free throws–a department in which MSU has been lacking this year–to take the lead 61-59. With 4.9 seconds left and the score 64-65, MSU fouls Mathiang who proceeded to score the first basket. I have to say, the foul was absolute bullshit! Anyhow, Mathiang misses the second free throw, Trice grabs the ball and fails to shoot a buzzer beater.

OT rolls around and you can just see the energy exuding from Michigan State. In the first 26 seconds, Forbes shoots from downtown, making the score 68-65. From there, State rolled. With 10.1 left in overtime, Valentine crushes a shot made by Snyder and Trice is quickly fouled. He drained both for a Spartan win. The final score: 76-70.

Harbaugh Takes to Social Media like a Teen

(Originally Published Sunday, February 8, 2015)
So it’s already pretty clear that OSU and Michigan are longtime rivals. In fact, Newsweek once did an analysis on college rivalries and this one topped the charts. Jim Harbaugh was recently hired by the Wolverines to replace Brady Choke. That dude sucked balls. Anyway, I was actually pretty excited to see a great coach leave the NFL to come to college football! It means that the B1G will be even better than everyone says–suck it SEC–and we’ll have a stronger strength of schedule. Moreover, the rivalry will FINALLY be reignited.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s super effing awesome to see OSU just crush McShitigan, but sometimes I want to see a real game. Well it looks like there is already bad blood between the new coach and the reigning national champion coach. Earlier this week, national signing day brought some major tension between the two coaches. Mike Weber out of Detroit had originally signed with Bithcigan, but rescinded his commitment when ex-head coach Hoke’s job was in jeopardy. He then committed to Ohio State and kept his word to the school.

The next day, OSU’s Running Back coach was picked up by the Chicago Bears. Naturally, Harbaugh was pissed and took to twitter, as he does. He thought it was shady of the Buckeyes to pick up a nationally ranked RB and then took away the coach the recruit was promised. While I can at least see Harbaugh’s point, it’s pretty clear that he’s more bitter than angry for the sake of the kid. Coaches, just like players, can commit, de-commit and sign with other teams. It’s just a freaking fact of football!

Harbaugh’s child-like behavior can be seen on social media. He posted, “Thought of the day – What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive! – Sir Walter Scott”. Really, dude? Are you a 13-year-old girl? Either man up and talk to Meyer about his recruiting habits or shut the hell up. Don’t be a little bitch, bud, you’ve entered the greatest rivalry in college history.

Tiger Woods Sucks More Than Jenna Jameson

(Originally Published Saturday, February 7, 2015)
I’m going to preface this post with a disclaimer. I really don’t like golf. I find it horribly boring to both play and watch. I will, however, absolutely go to the driving range and aim for the ball-picker-upper-guy. Ok so now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk about Tiger Woods.

Ah, yes the prodigal son. The youngest player to win the Masters. Countless titles and awards decorated his shelves for years…until 2009. Hoards of women came out from the woodwork stating that they’d been with the golfer. His wife–hot wife–naturally filed for divorce and Tiger hasn’t been the same player since. In fact, he’s been pretty shitty. For nearly 2 straight years he was on a losing streak. A losing streak that I believe is the reason he’s still so terrible. He finally broke that record number of losses at his own Chevron World Challenge Charity Tourney. Shockingly enough, 2 years later in March 2013 he won the Arnold Palmer Invitational, which actually thrusted him into the number 1 position until May of 2014… but then he was terrible again.

I continue to flip on SportsCenter and they keep talking about how “Tiger is going to come back. We all just know it!” I really don’t think so. He screwed himself over and his head hasn’t been properly in the game since. Sure, he had a year where he did well, but 1 year doesn’t make a player great. In fact,  he finished his last tournament ranked above the 50 cut, shooting a career low of 82. If he doesn’t shape up quickly he’s not even going to make it to the damn World Golf Championship.

I personally don’t like Tiger for a plethora of reasons, but this just makes me dislike him more. It’s very clear that he’s just not focusing. I get that everyone has an off year….or maybe even 2! But he’s pretty much sucked 4 out of the last 5 years. Shooting for a 20% success rate is just appalling! My god, Tiges, get your damn head in the game.

Running Back Coach Hired by Bears

(Originally Published Friday, February 6, 2015)

Yesterday, the Bears did one of the smartest things possible. On top of the hiring of John Fox as head coach, Ryan Pace as GM and Adam Gase as offensive coordinator, a new staff member was hired. They decided to hire Stan Drayton as the Running Back coach. Now why is this such exciting news? He was Ohio State’s RB coach for the past 3 years!

Yes, the reigning national championship team! The absolute boss, Ezekiel Elliott, who rushed for 1,878 yards in a single season and Carlos Hyde who currently plays for the 49ers were under the tutorship of Drayton. The dude knows how to crank out some superstars and my god could the Bears use some incredible talent in the running department.
Skip Peete was told he will not be returning next season and will be replaced with someone infinitely better. It’s fantastic when 2 football worlds collide!

Shine On, Katy, Shine On

(Originally Published Tuesday, February 3, 2015)
I’ll man up….errrr woman up….and admit when I’m wrong. I recently wrote a post about how unexcited I was to watch this year’s halftime show. Holy shit was I wrong! Like I said before, I actually really like Katy Perry. I just wasn’t so keen on her being the performance for the SuperBowl.

She entered the stage riding a mechanical tiger. Riding a mother effing tiger!! Naturally, she sang “Roar” and killed it. Lenny Kravitz jumped on stage to play with the pop star and as he does, he shredded on guitar. Although it was pretty obvious the only reason he wanted to perform with her was because of her tight ass bod. Seriously! All he did was stare at her tatas. Anyway, he did really well with her as holographic images poured onto the field. Katy disappeared for a quick-change, while the entire background switched. It was pretty obvious that “California Girls” was coming up from the sharks, beach and palm trees. In fact, her dress was very beach ball-esque. I thought this was where Snoop would make an appearance, but I was sadly mistaken. She sang two songs and hopped back stage for another outfit change.

And then she made the absolute best decision possible. She included Missy Elliot in her performance. Hell yes. HELL YES. I haven’t seen that chick in a while, but damn can she still shine. I swear to god I was taken back to 2003 with this kick ass music and the extremely low gas prices that we haven’t seen in years. Katy even rapped a bit–which isn’t as terrible as it sounds. She was actually pretty good! Needless to say, I was very wrong about the whole show. Katy (or her team) was so meticulous down to the last stitch in her outfit. Rock it like a lioness, Kitty Purry.

What in the Hell Happened at SuperBowl XLIX?

(Originally Published Tuesday, February 3, 2015)
So the SuperBowl didn’t quite turn out the way I was hoping. We were so. Damn. Close. A few of my buddies would’ve won some pretty decent cash money if only Seattle had scored that last touchdown. Alas, my dreams of seeing the Patriots suffer did not come to fruition.

The first quarter ended with no score. Seattle had a paltry 13 yards and New England clocked in at 75 yards. Brady threw a TD pass to LaFell to bring the score to 7-0. At this point, Seahawks’ QB, Russell Wilson had yet to complete a pass. Yes, it’s in the middle of the second quarter and he still didn’t have a completion. That’s a real SuperBowl-caliber quarterback right there. He didn’t hit a guy until there was 5:36 left in the half! Just pathetic. Luckily, Beast Mode Marshawn Lynch ran in for a Touchdown to tie the game at 7-7. With 31 seconds left in the half, Gronkowski caught a 22-yard pass from Brady. On that play, Brady tied Joe Montana for most TD passes thrown in the SuperBowl with 11. Aaaaaaand then Wilson threw a Touchdown with 2 seconds left in the half to tie it all back up after a face mask call moved them into the red zone.

The second half rolls around and the Seahawks decide they actually want to win. Hauschka, the kicker, put a Field Goal on the board to make the game 17-14. Chris Matthews–who made his first career catch in the first half–caught a huge 45-yarder. Lynch, like he does, ran the rest of the way in 4 carries. Once they were up, they had some pretty sweet plays. Brady, the demi-god, threw an interception. Oh my! The horror! Wagner had the pick, but on the return Sherman had a penalty, which put Seattle at midfield. Wilson spotted Baldwin in the endzone and lobbed a 3-yard pass to make the game 24-14 at the end of the third. Pats finally kept possession of the ball and Brady hit Amendola to make the game 21-24. The Patriots then forced a 3 and out on the next set of downs for Seattle. Edelman caught Brady’s next TD pass to overtake the lead with 28 points with 2:06 left in the game.

Now here’s where the game gets insane. Seattle has the ball and is trying to march down the field. Wilson tosses up a huge Hail Mary to Kearse. The ball was somewhat blocked by the Pats defense, but the ball bounced off of Kearse’s legs while he was on his back and made the most amazing grab I’ve seen. The Seahawks had the ball on the New England 10! It was shaping up to be a Seattle Touchdown for the win. Lynch ran the ball to the 1 with 20 seconds left on the clock. Then Pete Carroll–Seattle’s head coach–made pretty much the worst decision possible. Instead of giving it to the player who’s nickname is “BEAST MODE”–he has the damn nickname for a reason–he decided to have Wilson  pass on a well-known route. It was so readable I actually laughed out loud. Just like you’d expect, New England’s Butler intercepted the ball on the 1. But because it was on the 1, Seattle had the chance to force a safety and get an onside kick. Then poor ol’ Michael Bennett got a little antsy and was called for an encroachment penalty. And just like that it was over. Seattle’s chances to win back-to-back SuperBowls were gone. The next play, there were shall we say, some unhappy players and punches were flying. A huge brawl broke out and a few players were ejected. Pats kneed the ball and it was game over. The Patriots won and I wanted to throw up with disdain. As the saying goes, “Cheaters always win”.